How I Remained Unemployed

I guess it was about a month ago. I was having lunch at Indigo with my friend Ben Stone. I think he's my friend. That's always been a little confusing. He's got a new girlfriend. I'm disappointed. I just am, okay? Anyway, Ben said that what I need is a boyfriend and a job. Yep!
I found an ad in the newspaper for a paralegal position with a large firm downtown. Great! Sent in my resume. Genuflected. Lit some incense. Carried my phone with me from room to room. And sure enough, on my birthday I got the call!
OOOOOHHH!!! 18th floor. Ocean view! Koa desks!
Does my new boyfriend work here?
The office manager seemed impressed by my resume and had me fill out an an application. One of the questions on the application was in regard to my salary requirements. That's so icky! It really gives employers an unfair advantage. You ask too much, you're out the door. Ask too little, and that's just what you'll get. I decided to save that question for last. Finally, since this was an entry level position, I wrote "$30,000-$35,000".
The office manager came back, looked over my application, and then spent nearly 2 hours discussing the firm with me. She didn't think I'd like working for the litigators who are "screamers." She wanted me to commit for a year. I had this job - I knew it!!! Then she said, "I think you'll enjoy working with Mr. L___, one of our senior partners, and I don't think he'll have any problem with a salary of $20,000." Did she say, "twenty?" What was she trying to pull??? TWENTY??? I glanced over at the application and was going to point out that I'd asked for 30 and that no one could live in Honolulu on less, when I saw that I had indeed written, "$20,000-$25,000".
What was I gonna say? That I'd made a $10,000 mistake on a document? When I want them to hire me to prepare legal documents?
That was Friday. Monday I was to call at 8:00 to set up an interview with Mr. L___. Monday I called precisely at 8:00 and left a message on the office manager's voice mail saying that I'd jumped the gun and wasn't really ready to commit to a full time job.
Oh well. I didn't want to work where screaming litigators are tolerated. Why would the senior partners allow their associates to abuse the support staff? Screaming litigators. That phrase makes me smile. Try saying it softly to yourself. Then imagine insecure associates, pants on fire, running, screaming, waving poorly formatted Motions in the air.